In which I have to think quick...

I try not to write too much about my job.  Mostly I love what I do, and there are very few downsides to it.  Sometimes at the end of a long week the kids can drive me to distraction, and the parents annoy the living sh#t out of me, but apart from that everything humms along nicely.

However it seems that I get all the hard questions.  I've already had "Why is the sky blue?", "Why can we sometimes see the sun and the moon at the same time?" and other doozies.  With two 3.5 year olds it's often difficult to be one step ahead - because as soon as you let your guard down - BAM! they're right in there with a big one.

*flashback* Last Thursday morning.  I'm sitting on the sofa drinking my morning cup of coffee.  One of the 3.5yr olds has arrived an hour earlier than usual, and is getting to see me eat my breakfast and drink my coffee, whilst sitting on the sofa.  Scott is reading the paper and eating his breakfast at the dining table.

"Karyn-mama...." says Grubby 3.5yr old

"Y-esss, sweethart, what's on your mind?"

"Why do we have Mummy's?" He gazes at me intently.  Out of the corner of my eye I see Scott look up from the paper and over to me.

"Because everyone needs a Mummy."  I say cautiously.

"But why?"  Not this again - the "But why's" are ruining my life at the moment!

"Well because we need our Mummy to get here.  Remember Lachlan's Mum and how she had a baby in her tummy?"  Now I'm leading this damn conversation down a garden path I'm not sure I want to follow...

"Why is the baby in there?"  He says, his gaze unwaivering.  Scott is in the background miming his amusement at me always getting the doozies to answer.

"Well the baby has to stay in the Mummy's tummy until it's ready to come out."  Oh sh*t where are we going now....

"Is it dark in there?"

"I'd say so - I'm not 100% sure, but I think it would be dark in there."  Brain working now...potential to lead the conversation in another direction...

"What does the baby eat?"  He's looking a bit worried now.

"Well you know your belly button?"  he nods, "Well, when you're in your mummy's tummy you have, like a hose attached to your belly button that food from your mummy goes down to feed you, that's why we have a belly button.  And when you're born they close off the pipe, and it heals up to be a belly button."  This is good, conversation is nearing neutral territory...

"So how does the mum know when the baby's ready?"

"Well her tummy starts to hurt, a bit like a tummy ache, then she goes to hospital and the doctor helps her to have the baby."

"How?  There's no hole?  Where's the hole?"

Now Scott is in the background barely holding back his mirth at the situation I've got myself into...

"Well,  you know how you have a penis?"

"Y-ess."  He looks unsure about where this is going.

"Well girls and mummy's don't have a penis, they have a vagina."  (I know this analogy isn't technically correct, but too much information could be disastrous at this point.)

"Huh."  He looks unsure, but nods.

"And the vagina is like a hole for the baby to come out of when it's ready to be born."

"Cool."  He says.  Then looks up at me.  I'm about to breathe a sigh of relief...

"But that's not how I was born."  He says, daring me to disagree...

"Really?"  I say and make 'Big Eyes' at him...

"Yeah, the doctor cut a hole in my mum and grabbed me out."  He looked very happy with himself.

"Well, yes, that is another way that a baby can get out of it's mummy's tummy."  I say, hoping this doesn't spark even more discussion.

"Can we have morning tea now?"

"Yes."

I seem to have been blessed/cursed with two very eloquent little 3.5 year olds.  It looks like the little 14mth old I have in my care is going the same way.  On Friday he said "look - photo!" and pointed at a photo of the kids I have across the room.  Every morning I say to him "Adam - look, a Photo!" and now he's repeating it back to me.  Later in the day he said "Look - shoes".  I can't remember any of the other kids making a simple sentence at this young an age.  He also has a vocabulary of about 50 words - which seems a lot, so soon.

posted by: blytheswideshut at July 23, 2006 23:17 | link | comments (1) |

Comments:

#1  26 July 2006 - 03:39

 

you're a quick thinker. i wouldn't know how to answer the questions. i mean, dur, i KNOW...i just don't have the mental or emotional ability to relate it to a child. i think this is why i'm not a mom.

Anonymous

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