sleep...must sleep...

Lately I've been so tired early in the evening.  It's 9:30pm, and I'm almost falling asleep I'm so weary.  It isn't mental tiredness, it's entirely a physical thing.

This process happenes to me a few times a year.  I will be for months staying up until 3 or 4 am, working long into the night, productive and energised.  Waking at 7:15am in time to dress and let the kids in in the morning, sleeping for an hour in the early afternoon when the boys have their nap, then staying up late again.  I love those times.  The solitary evenings alone, wandering around the house, writing, reading, creating.

At the moment I'm going through eactly the opposite process.  Rising and ready to go at 5am, not having a kip during the day, then falling down tired at 9pm.  I have an erratic body clock, that goes in cycles, and it is only now in my 30s (how I hate to say or even write that) that I have come to an understanding, and productive working relationship with my sleep/rest/wake times.

I have always suffered these problems, even as a small child, but never knew how to deal with them - only to wrestle and fight against them - force them to fit into some kind of "normal" pattern.

I think it was when I was diagnosed as bi-polar II, that I began to come to grips with who I am in terms of mood, sleeping, energy and personality.  Before that, everything was a big mystery.

posted by: blytheswideshut at November 07, 2005 19:40 | link | comments |

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