All this stuff happens to me, but somehow it never makes it in here.

It's like, I sit down here to write and then, I feel like I'm in year 10 writing an essay, and I get all correct sentences, intricate grammar, and beginning-middle-end essay planning...all the spontenaiety goes and I'm left staring at the screen.

Some things I'm not sure I can write.  I want to write about my work - but I don't want to lose my job.  Sometimes things I do in my personal life, could be seen as conflicting with my job...so I can't write about that either.  Adults that I know have been named - because it's just stupid not to, but in doing so, it has cut off my ability to write about my work or my social life.  Perhaps if I go back, nom de plume everyone, it will open up a vast new horizon of material.

I'm thinking about it.  In fact as I write this I'm deciding that it might be a good idea.

Maybe I should write about Saturday night in the mean time, since it presents no conflict or difficulty.  Just an 18 year old trainwreck of a girl, hopped up on cheap pink girly drinks, and sloshing and slurring all over the place.  Her size 20 body stuffed painfully into size 10 clothes, asking every man in sight (old or young" "Do you think I'm sexy", offering to prove that she was if only they'd come inside with her.  I don't want to leave out the bit where she spent 5 minutes attacking a naturally skinny and gangly 16 year old about putting on weight and daring her to go inside and get rid of her dinner in the toilet.  The party stopped dead, all conversation ceased and one very brave 16 year old said "I'm happy the way I am, fat or skinny, so why don't you just leave me alone.".

posted by: blytheswideshut at April 20, 2005 11:36 | link | comments |

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