The other night we had the "Should I stay or should I go?" house meeting.  We said it's ok, stay till September when you want to move out.  At the time, I was all for it, and was actually looking forward to having Tayler around for another six months.  Yet not a few days later, I sort of wish I'd said - go...you've outstayed your welcome.

It's not a natural state for me - to have someone else living in the house.  I need a lot of personal space, acres and acres sometimes.  Scott less so.  So it has been something of an experience having him living here, the experience has ranged from fantastic (live in dog sitter, Dustin, music collaborator, confidante and friend) to the not so fantastic (club poof, Adam, odd hours, questionable music taste, single song repeat, washing machine use), yet we've all got along ok.  That in itself has been a big learning curve for me, learning tolerance and acceptance, and understanding that not everything is in my control, and that there are times when biting your tongue is better for everybody.

Last night Dustin turned up late - after midnight.  Tayler had been playing the same song over and over, and considerable volume for several hours and I was tired.  Fortunately the arrival of Dustin put an end to the 'repeat' function on Tayler's stereo.  I finally dropped off to sleep at about 1:45am.  This morning, I went down to say hello, and got growled at for asking what time Dustin got in last night, and who was putting out their cigarettes in a plant pot outside.  I wasn't criticising...if I'd been allowed to continue I was about to say that the interesting arrangement of the butts was begining to look like a sculpture of an alien landscape...but I didn't get that far.

It's stuff like that that irritates me.  We also need the space. Tayler occupies the largest room in the house, and whilst he pays for it, and the money does come in handy, I wouldn't mind reclaiming the space and distributing some of our "stuff" a little better throughout the house.

We're, well actually, I'm a collector, some would say hoarder of things.  I collect interesting fabrics, Blythes, pens, books, all sorts of things.  I have boxes and boxes of stuff, spilling out all over the place.  Scott and I have compromised.  My 'collections' remain in the non-public areas of the house, and he maintains and keeps tidy the 'public' areas.  I don't mind this trade off.  However the non-public areas of our house are fairly small and cramped.  I can't leave anything on the floor lest one of the pets gets at it...Muppy likes to wee on anything that he hasn't seen before or has moved to a new position, Red Dog will sleep on (read flatten) anything left on the ground, and Zee will cover anything else left lying around in fur.  But I want to have some things out on display.  I want my Blythes to have room to move, I want to have space to hangup and display their clothes and shoes, I need a space to setup my sewing machine and to organise all my sewing stuff.  In short I practically need my own house just for me.

But we sort of need him in the short term.  He's promised to help Scott with the deck building project.  He's going to supply me with sperm for the baby-making project that is happening over the next few months, and for 99% of the time he's fun to have around, and I enjoy having him here. Of course these aren't the only reasons that I would like him to stay on, but like the cream of any crop the best always rise to the surface.

It's Sunday morning, at 10:30am, and Scott is still sleeping.  I'm hungry and resisting the urge to cook bacon.  I've been tracking my temperature this cycle, and based on my temperature indicators and 'discharge' (fuck that word is unpleasant, no matter what context) indicators, I looks like I'm just about to ovulate.  So far March has been a good month.

posted by: blytheswideshut at March 19, 2005 23:39 | link | comments |

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