Greyhounds can't fit under fences.

posted by: blytheswideshut at May 15, 2007 12:00 | link | comments (2) |

Book Binge wrap up

Take 2.

Book Binge Stats:

Number Accounted for:  23

Number unaccounted for: 5 (I lost the library docket with the details - my recordkeeping methods suck)

Re-reads: 3 (This number is abnormally low - but I cranked up the library borrowings)

Abandoned: 2 (The first at chapter 2, the second about 15 pages from the end - I just didn't care anymore and my stamina had waned so much that I couldn't make it to the finish line)

Best Book(s): "Close Range - Wyoming Stories" by Annie Proulx and "The Mammoth Cheese" by Sheri Holman.

Worst Book: "The Accidental Florist (a Jane Jeffry mystery)" by Jill Churchill. 

This book wins HANDS DOWN, NO CONTEST.  It was so poorly written that I just couldn't stop reading it.  It was literary roadkill, I kept laughing and groaning out loud, reading sections of it to my husband until he begged me to stop.  The chief problems with the book were: the writing, the abysmal dialogue, the plot, characterisation, gratuitous tense shifting, poor grammar, random plot inclusions, unresolved plot elements, and oh, did I mention the dialogue?

Had I not returned it to the library this morning I would have been able to brighten your day with a passage from one of its (many) pages.  However some parts of it are so firmly lodged in my brain that I will take a moment to paraphrase one of the particularly heinous sections of dialogue:

...Jane and Shelley walk into the florist they found conveniently located next to their parking space.  Upon entering they are assaulted by the cool fragrant air and wonder to themselves that florist work must be a wonderful line of business.

"Hello ladies.  John Thomaseno - I am the owner of this floristry establishment.  Are you looking for anything in particular this fine morning, or are you just looking - which you are obviously perfectly welcome to do so."

And it drivels on like this for another 200 pages or so.  Really it was so woeful, but I just couldn't put it down, I just had to keep reading to find out what butchery of the English language would occur next.

Generally I occupy myself by re-reading novels from my own stocks.  To spice it up I read only thick books for a week or maybe I might read all the orange ones or something like that.  Because Scott ran up about a zillion dollars of library fines on my card - I couldn't borrow for the longest time, so I had to occupy myself with my own books.  The Book Binge provided the impetus I needed to pay those fines and commence borrowing again.  And borrow I did.

Usually my library visits are of the three ring circus variety.  Me, a stroller (double or single) and 3 or 4 children "enthusiastically enjoying" their visit to the library.  The children's section of our local library is fantastic - big cushions shaped like crocodiles, lily pads, turtles, starfish and flying saucers (?) in abundant quantities just asking - no SCREAMING for children to jump, run and tumble all over them.  The books are set out at knee height - knee height to a 3 year old so books are readily accessible.  Supervision by an adult of the children they have unleashed is mandatory, lest we be evicted from the library and our borrowing privileges suspended.  So I sit, watch and stockpile books.  I read books - many while we're there, and usually amass quite an audience of listeners.  This is all great but after 40 mins of patiently waiting for the kids to conclude their library dealings they never seem to have any patience for me to take a moment to borrow some books.

Usually as we use the self checkout machine I grab wildly at the one or two novels randomly displayed on the ends of the "Adult Fiction" rows.  You would think this tactic would work - except that for the split second my eye is distracted from the children and task at hand they scatter like buckshot and make off for the kids section.  However during April I adopted a different approach.  Kids sitting in a line, backs to the wall and me frantically running up and down the aisles gabbing anything that looked even remotely readable.

I believe this explains my, shall we say eclectic choices.  I mean "Culinary Mystery" - who even knew such a thing existed!

The List:

"The Assistants : a novel" by Robin Lynn Williams
"Double Shot (a culinary mystery)" by Diane Mott Davidson
"Friends, Lovers, Chocolate (an Isobel Dalhousie mystery)" Alexander Mccall Smith
"The Accidental Florist (a Jane Jeffry mystery)" by Jill Churchill
"Hidden" by Paul Jaskunas
"The Houseguest" by Thomas Berger
"The Guy Next Door" by Meg Cabot
"Boy Meets Girl" by Meg Cabot
"In The Image" by Dara Horn (abandoned #1)
"Skylight Confessions" by Alice Hoffman
"The Mammoth Cheese" by Sheri Holman
"Dying for Cake" by Louise Limerick
"Eva Moves the Furniture" by Margot Livesey
"The Little White Car" by Danuta de Rhodes
"Wonderful You" by Mariah Stewart
"Why the Tree Loves the Axe" by Jim Lewis
"Close Range - Wyoming Stories" by Annie Proulx
"Bad Dirt - Wyoming Stories 2" by Annie Proulx
"The Future Homemakers of America" by Laurie Graham (re-read)
"A Walk in the Woods" by Bill Bryson (re-read)
"Corfu - a novel" by Robert Dessaix (abandoned #2)
"American Icon" by Pat Booth (re-read)
"Taking Charge of Bipolar Disorder: a 4 step plan for you and your loved ones to manage your illness and create lasting stability" by Julie A Fast and John Preston (non-fiction)


I have not included any of the books that I read to the kids.  The list would stretch on forever and ever - 5 or so books every weekday, double that on library days and sometimes more if we have more or less kids...I just left them off...too hard to keep track of.

posted by: blytheswideshut at May 01, 2007 23:13 | link | comments (3) |